10:30am 12/12/13

I sit in the waiting room and stare down at the paper. Surely I can read and interpret this simple report. The report clearly states in black and white that the micro calcifications were classified as DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). The mind stops, the heart goes into my throat and I get up and walk out. To debunk what I am reading I call my friend who is a Nurse Practitioner and ask if she will read the report since I haven’t heard from the doc. I meet her at the Library and then at 10:42 the doc calls me and we talk for 12min. These 12 minutes will change my life…

He confirms that it is indeed DCIS. He expresses that it isn’t invasive cancer, that is good, and can only come from the breast tissue. We discuss what it means, options and how difficult choosing the next step can be with DCIS. The issue with DCIS is that it can turn invasive and some forms have a higher likely hood than others but there are good manageable options. We talk a bit about how I feel and any questions I have at the moment. He confirms that we have a scheduled follow up on the 17th to discuss further options and more Q&A time. In this discussion I impart to him that I do not wish to manage this but want it gone. I don’t want radiation, lumpectomy and 5 years of estrogen blocking medications. I am not committed enough to saving the tissue to manage to have the mental and emotional damage waiting to see if it will come back, grow or damage my body through radiation and drugs. I want it out and now.

He imparts to me that he could definitely find time to do the mastectomy before the end of the year and would block time in his schedule toward the end of the week BUT that Tuesday we would discuss options and see where we are at then. He also made it clear that where he could do the mastectomy by the end of the year the possibility of doing all that is needed (consults with plastic surgeons, and more) that he saw no way to complete a reconstruction by the end of the year.

Now I move forward???